What's your motive?

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Today's post comes from Anita at Scattering the Stones

'Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.'

Psalm 51:10 NASB ®

As I prayed for God to lead me to share His message for this post today, I was inspired by the book that my husband and I are re-reading together at the moment; 'Improving Your Serve' by Charles R. Swindoll. Charles looks at the call from our Saviour, to lead an unselfish life; to have a servant's heart. His book is led by his search to understand the following verse -

'For even the Son of Man did not come to be served,

but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.'

Mark 10:45 NIV

If you stopped and truly considered your heart, would you say your focus was on pleasing people or God?
I dearly want to have a servant's heart; to follow Jesus in how He lived in this world with a pure heart; His whole motive was to glorify His Father, and I want to do the same.

Charles R. Swindoll said -
'When Jesus took the time to explain His reason for coming among us, He was simple and direct:
to serve and to give. Not to be served. Not to grab the spotlight in the center ring.
Not to make a name or attract attention or become successful or famous or powerful or idolized.
No, quite frankly, that stuff turned Him off.' p11
When we look at the Psalm 51:10 verse, David was asking God to help create within him, a clean, pure heart; from something that was unclean, separated from God. As a part of his desire for a clean heart, his prayer was also for his spirit to remain steadfast - firm, grounded on the truth; to resist temptation.

It is only when we come to God and present ourselves before Him, that our hearts will be renewed; where our old self dies and we are made into a new creation (2 Cor 5:17), because of the power of the cross and ultimate sacrifice of our Saviour. As we open our hearts to be cleansed by the power of the Holy Spirit, our heart's desire, emotions, feelings, motives, begin a new journey to be made right, through our relationship with our Jesus.

In everything we do, we need to examine our motives.

'People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.'

Proverbs 16:2 NLT

As I contemplate on this verse, I am compelled to ask the Lord to show me anything that is not of Him, in my heart -

'Put me on trial, Lord, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart.'

Psalm 26:2 NLT

Is God asking you to make a stand for Him, that would be unpopular in the world's eyes?
As we search for His will for our lives, He asks us to love one another, as Jesus showed us (2 Jn 1:6). When we seek the face of our God, we need to consider what is truly behind our prayers. Are we seeking His will and whatever that entails, or are we purely looking for a comfortable life? In our humaness, we hope to have a life free of troubles, we may be weary from pain whether physical, or emotional, but when we take up the cross and focus on what God wants, our prayers will be in-line with the life Jesus calls us to, as a part of His perfect plan.

As I read through the book of James, this verse sprung from the pages -

'Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.'

James 4:17 NLT

To seek a true servant's heart as demonstrated by the ministry of Jesus, looking for earthly rewards isn't an option; if we seek friendship with the world we become enemies of God (Jas 4:4). We need to listen and obey the commands of our Creator.

'God opposes the proud but favours the humble.'

James 4:6 NLT

When we serve, our focus should not be about looking for a pat on the back from others. God wants us to draw close to Him; as in this He will draw close to us (Jas 4:8). When we humble ourselves before Him, He lifts us up (Jas 4:10).

Lysa Terkeurst said -
'I finally realized that things like my circumstances or what other people think don't define me. Instead, I could tie my happiness to the reality of who my heavenly Father says I am.' P126
In our transparency, in how we deal with life day by day and choose to honour His name in all circumstances, the opinion of the world will no longer matter, as all we will desire, is God's opinion.

In our journey towards servanthood in Christ, there will be pain along the way, people will not always see what we do, we may well be forgotten by others, we will probably find ourselves being placed to oneside or put down, but our God - El Roi, sees everything; as His eyes searches for His faithful people (2 Ch 16:9).

The King of Kings provides us with all that we need; let us allow the peace of Christ to rule our hearts (Col 3:15). He will counsel and instruct us (Ps 16:8). He hears our distress and answers our prayers (Ps 118:5). He will give us strength to resist temptation (Jas 4:7) and His grace is sufficient for us in our weakness (2 Cor 12).

As Charles R Swindoll had a card with the words 'What's your motive?' written on it to help him look at everything he did, thought, prayed and said, I think I will join him and make a card for myself. For when others seek to put me down for what God has placed on my heart, all that should matter is what He thinks of me. When I feel myself slipping, I am reminded to give my burdens to my heavenly Father, and know that He will take care of me (Ps 55:22). When God tells me to do something, I need to do it, without thought being given to what people will think of me.

My hope is to have a pure, clean, servant's heart; for my motives to be in-line with my Father's will. I will praise Him for all the days of my life and worship Him.

Please join me today in handing over anything that is not of God in our lives, as we hunger and thirst after His will.

'For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News.

Our purpose is to please God, not people.

He alone examines the motives of our hearts.'

1 Thess 2:4 NLT
Let's pray
Father I come before you today, please examine and test my heart.
If there is anything that is not of you, please help me to work through this with you.
I ask for your forgiveness, for the things I have put before you.
My desire is for a clean, steadfast heart that stands firm on your promises.
Please help me to look at my motives, in everything I do.
May my life bring glory to your Holy name, for you are El Roi - God who sees all.
Help me to not lean on my own understanding and the approval of others, but to follow your commands that are pleasing to you.
Open my eyes, unclutter my heart, for I want to listen to the whispers of Your heart.
Please show me Your will, open the doors for me to go through, to spread Your Good News.
In Jesus' name

Anita x    



Author: Charles R. Swindoll, Book: Improving Your Serve, Publisher: Hodder & Stoughton 1991. Page 11

Author: Lysa Terkeurst, Book: Made to Crave Devotional, Publisher: Zondervan 2011, Page 126

Scripture quotations taken from the NASB and NLT

Image: © Nita Joy Designs

Even In This; Finding Joy & Peace

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Today's post comes from Kassie of Cypress Ministries

~ From my heart,
just something to think about today:

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live.
And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.
Do you believe this?”

She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ,
the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
(John 11:25-27 NKJV)

My friend I don't know what your "this" is... but I know I am going through one. The thing is, I just keep calling it "this" because I don't know what it is or how to even describe it. I don't know if it is my faith being tested, if I am "birthing something new" or maybe it is just simply God trying to bring me through something. All I do know is that "this" hurts, and it is a struggle, and it is difficult... And it seems as if God keeps leaning down to ask me, "will I love Him even in this?"

Even in this where I can't see my way clear, there seems to be no answers, no understanding; just an expectation that there is so suppose to be so much more, but it is just out of grasp... and the question is, "will I trust Him even in this?"

And each time I find myself taking a breath with a strange sort of "weight" inside of me and saying, "Yes." I still believe that God is God. I still believe that God is good. I still believe that God is faithful. "Even in this" I believe.... it is really weird because I keep looking at my hands to see the rope burns, because part of me feels like I am haning on by shreds, but at the exact same time, there is a calmness inside of me. And when I am very still I can feel -- that it is NOT me. Or better yet; it is NOT coming from me.

This is what Jesus wanted to know from Martha in the face of the death of their brother; did she believe? And Martha said "Yes Lord, even now I believe...." And I truly believe that God still comes to us in times such as that to see if, "Even in this, are we still His?" Can we (do we) still love and worship Him when times are hard, or when hurt and sorrow have come?

I think this is where true faith is revealed. I think that when we get to a point where we have nothing left, where we are simply just wrung out and hung up to dry; that we see what our faith is really made of. But even more importantly-- SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE. Anyone we have come in contact with during our walk where we say, "Oh sure, I believe God is God..." is there to see when it comes right down to it-- what is inside.

My friend, how are you wearing your faith? Are you grumbling? Or are you still maintaining stride even in "this?" Any one can shout from the mountain tops, but how are you standing on your faith in the valley? Because this is where true witnessing comes from. This is where you put your faith where your mouth is. And it is in times like this that our faith has a chance to grow and be strengthened-- and when we reach the other side we can look back and be amazed at seeing the hand of God that has brought us through.

I say that because Jesus told His disciples "go to the other side" He did not tell them to go half way across and come dead in the water. I know He doesn't expect us to either. So I know that some way or some how, I have to be able to come to the other side of my "this." I will-- and you will too.

I may have to make a circle in the desert a few times-- OK I HAVE circled the desert a few times, but I know that there will also come a time that God will bring me to the edge of the river and say, "Now go up and take the ground I am giving you." And when this time comes for me (and for you) let it NOT be unbelief that keeps us out.

And do you know that for all the "hardship" I can honestly say there HAS been joy and peace inside. That even in this, when I take the time to just stop and listen, when I come to a place where I just "wait" I can feel strength rising in the very depths of my heart that can ONLY come from God. And then I can feel a peace budding in me, and that brings joy because though on the outside nothing has change, I know that God is still there, He is still by my side, and THAT brings a smile to my face. And I think that is what we need to do-- to seek out and find the joy that is there that comes with the peace in knowing, even in "this." I believe that is where we will truly find God. That it is in the "loving Him even in this" where we will experience His mightiness, and willingness to work on our behalf. I believe that when we lean into Him in times of "things we just can't explain;" that is where we will see that He really is there walking with us, and will bring about things for us to smile about.

My friend I want to encourage you today. God is still the same God as before. The same God who parted the Red Sea, is the same God now. Times have changed. People have changed, the way we eat, dress, and play have change... BUT GOD has not changed. My prayer recently has been "Show that God to me. Come in and be THAT God for me, and in my life. Please step in and make Your presence known. Knock me off my feet with the unimaginative. Show my children, show my family, show those around me that YOU ARE GOD."

My friend, will you join me?

I wish you well, and may God shine upon you in all of your endevors today.


Writing for God

Friday, June 15, 2012

Today's post comes from Anita at Scattering the Stones

' ...O LORD, you are our Father.

We are the clay, and you are the potter.'

Isaiah 64:8 NLT

I just love how God speaks to us in so many ways; whether it's directly through the Bible, through His creation, through inspiration from reading books, films, the list goes on and on. 

As I ask God to teach me His ways, He inspires me to write; as I listen to the whispers of my Father's heart through my journey with Him, I feel closer to my Saviour. 

I often carry my notebook with me, to help remind me of these God appointments, as He raises my head and says to me, 'share what is on your heart, for me...' 



I prayed a long time a go, that my life would enable me to write about my experiences of Jesus' tender touch and the words He blesses me with.When you pray this, expect your prayer to be answered. God will touch your life, open the doors to experience new things, to mould you, and share His heart with those who are in need. 

'He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.

When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.'

2 Cor 1:4 NLT

Often when you post a devotion that was hard to write, feeling like your life is laid out bare for the world to see, God opens our eyes even more to the needs of those around us, as we read the comments from others saying 'me too...' 

A prayerful heart


Since my time at Bible college through the work He has called me to do, and through writing the devotions that God leads me to write, I have come to be very aware for the need for a prayerful heart. For there is a purpose in everything. God wants to reach out through the posts He lays on our hearts to reach others; who either don't know God - who are searching for answers to their own life situations, or to encourage other Christians around the world. This is why the importance of spending time with our Saviour cannot be emphasised enough! 

I have learnt that keeping a journal and spending time with God is essential for me to hear what God wants, and to give me strength when I need it the most; to not allow my ever changing feelings to cloud my judgements. As soon as I feel vulnerable or lost, my first call is to God - it has to be. 

Once we write a post it is there for all to see, as with our conversations online or offline the words we speak/write to one another, will be captured in a moment, and can have a long lasting affect.This drives home the importance of asking the Holy Spirit to examine our hearts and thoughts daily (Ps 139:1-2). 

Taking time out


We must not be afraid to take time out, to step away from the pressure we place on ourselves to 'get a post out there' for where our hearts are not right, so will also be our words. Often God calls us to be still in His presence and so we must heed His call, for He knows us better than we know ourselves. (Rom 8:27) 

What are we feeding ourselves with?


If we feel led to share God's love through our writing, we need to place our priority on our relationship with God. I am inspired by what Jesus said, 

'My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, 

and from finishing his work'

John 4:34 NLT

Over time, God will show us our own voice in our writing, as God uses us as His vessel to pour out His love to those who need His message. 

'The spirit of the Lord speaks through me; his words are upon my tongue.'

2 Samuel 23:2 NLT

What we listen to, read, watch will effect us, so let's feed ourselves with the things that bring glory to God. 

Understanding the role that pride can play, helps us to re-evaluate why we are writing, and who for; enabling us to focus on what God wants, not how many comments we may have, or compare ourselves with other writers. As we depend on God, the Holy Spirit will help us in our weakness. 

God's call


It is a privilege to be able to share what God places on our heart, a gift from our Lord. I am so blessed by the many Christian writers who share their love for Jesus through their blogs. I have grown to love writing for our Saviour, and my prayer is that what I share will help others see their worth in God's sight, as He is helping me. 

All I can do is breathe in the Word of God, and lay in those green pastures that He provides, and listen to the whispers of His heart. 



Please join me in prayer

Lord, we thank you that you are the potter, and we are the clay,
May our lives reflect the great love, mercy, and grace that we have received from you. 
Thank you that you have called us to write for you. 
May our thoughts, and the words on our tongues and through the words we type, glorify you. We give you our blogs, our ministries, that you have blessed us with. 
May your will be done. 
Please use us as your vessel to bless others through the message you place on our hearts. May our hearts and minds be renewed daily, as we feed on your Word.
Please examine our thoughts and show us anything you want us to change. 
Please continue to bless our writing, for you.
In Your name 

'Let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord.'

Psalm 150:6 NLT


Thank you for reading my post today, I hope it has blessed you. Please share what inspires you to write for God. 

Video: Music - Breath - Kathryn Scott, Video put together by:

Healing, honeycomb words

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Today's post comes from Salina at Heart Reflected & Anita at Scattering the Stones

Our hearts were made to love, to experience tenderness, hope and joy, and we react to these emotions by giving them away in trust that they will never return void, in faith that our hearts will never be broken.   

As we go through life, we come to an understanding that this belief, although lovely, is simply not possible. No matter how hard we try to avoid it, we end up learning how cruel the world really is, most of the time before we ever reach our teens.   

We learn that life is not fair, that pain has the potential to overwhelm us so much we feel as though drowning in it would be the best course of action. We’re exposed to the viciousness that comes from bitterness and envy, and we learn that negative words spoken in hate have ways of wounding us with just a single thrust of their sword.  
‘They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows.’
(Psalm 64:3 NIV)
Hurtful words leave behind nothing but devastating scars and enough memories to haunt us for a lifetime. They drag us down into the muck and mire, and cause us to wallow in it over and over again, until eventually we become so tired we give up and accept our fate.   

It doesn't have to be the end of our story though, for we have Someone willing to save us, a hero who wants to come to our rescue.   
'He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.'
(Psalm 40:2 NLT)
He pulls us up out of the pit and extends hope to us. He gives us the ability to see we have a choice. A choice to listen to His voice instead of everyone else's, to understand that although life is painful, it is also filled with beautiful unexpected gifts.   

On our journey, growing in our understanding of God, we come to see Him as our shield. Who wants to mend our broken hearts and bodies. Who gives us purpose. Who takes away fear and turns it into godly fear.Who values our lives so much that He sent His son to die for us.  
‘ “Don’t be afraid” he said, “for you are very precious to God.
Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!”
As he spoke these words to me, I suddenly felt stronger and said to him,
“Please speak to me, my Lord, for you have strengthened me.’
(Daniel 10:18-20 NLT)
The more time we spend in His Word, the more we can gain a picture of God’s values. As God strengthened Daniel with words of love in his time of anxiety, He will also strengthen us. Gaping wounds of seeping pain are healed in His presence, into scars of beauty and truth.   

When words of pain have been spoken to us, our first emergency call should be to our heavenly Father, replacing words of darkness, with the living Word. When we struggle with words of pain, we need to test them alongside the truth of the Holy One.  
‘The ear tests the words it hears just as the mouth distinguishes between foods.’
(Job 12:11 NLT)
As we focus on our Creator, and re-learn who we really are in the sight of God, He blesses us with His filter; for when we hear damaging words said about us, He enables us to see the person differently from Jesus’ perspective, as He is our lamp in the darkness. (2 Sam 22:29-30 NLT)  
‘We have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view.
At the time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view.
How differently we know him now.
(2 Cor 5:16 NLT)
Throughout our spiritual battle with the enemy, we need to remember that words of death have already had their power removed, by the act of the cross. Instead of carrying words of harm in our heart, God has blessed us with words of light and everlasting love, as He will rescue us from the words that cut us at our deepest point (Job 5:15).   

The battle has already been won! As we throw off the shackles of harmful words and replace them with words of truth spoken by our Saviour, He calls us to speak words of life into other people’s lives.  

Let our words to one another be words of honeycomb, instead of poison.  
‘Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.’
(Prov 16:24 NIV)
Jesus is our rock and fortress - a place of safety (Ps 18:1-2). As Jesus took His last breath on the cross and proclaimed It is finished! (Jn 19:13) the same can be said about the power of ugly words, for we are God’s children; precious and loved in His sight.   

God’s words are not empty (Deut 32:47) like the enemy’s are; they are full of life.  
‘The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.’
(Prov. 15:4 NIV)
Please join us in prayer as we renounce every negative word spoken against us and leave them at the feet of our Lord Jesus Christ. Our prayer for you is that you will allow Him to start building you back, stone by stone, brick by brick until we all come forth from the ruins a new creation.   

Lord, We come to You, friends and sisters in Christ and kneel at your throne of grace. 

We have arrived here together to give You all the pain we have ever experienced at the hands of another.   

As we lie in Your green pastures, we also lay down at your feet every single burden, fear, and hurt we've ever tried to carry on our own. We lay down all the instances that have ever made us feel inferior, ashamed, humiliated, unwanted, unneeded, unloved, abandoned, forsaken, and used. We leave it here at Your throne of grace and walk away knowing we never have to revisit it again.   

We praise you for your faithfulness and everlasting love. The joy of your Holy presence gives us strength through the storms. Please help us to focus on you as we walk the path laid out before us, never alone, with you by our side.   

Daily we come before you, and thank you for your blessings and for sharing our burdens. We ask for your wisdom and discernment to test what we hear, may the lies and hurtful words we experience, be replaced fully with Your light and truth.   

 In Jesus’ name   


Mercy Me - The Hurt and the Healer from their cd The Hurt and the Healer 2012


Thank you for reading our devotion, we hope it has blessed you today. Both of us have experienced hurtful, and healing honeycomb words, if you need a friend to listen/pray with you, please feel free to contact us through our websites.
Salina & Anita

They Stubborn Heart

Friday, June 8, 2012

Today's post comes from Renee at Encouragement of Faith
Yes, I must admit that at times I can be stubborn, hard headed and reluctant to what some have to say or do.  Not only is it me, but I am married to one that is the same.  I also joke that I gave birth to one too.  I used to wonder where she got all her stubbornness from until I looked in the mirror and at her father.  I never use to be that inflexible in my life, but for some reason it has taken an edge for every year I get older.  I know you've heard the saying the older we get the more set in our ways we are.  But I have come to terms that God also installs a meter of awareness in us when it comes to knowledge of right and wrong.  Walking in His words have open me up to areas I would have before bended in order to fit in, instead of standing for what is right in His words. 
 He asks us:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.   Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2 (NIV)
As for my daughter, I have taken the good advice of Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family.  “Pray for your child each day that God will break the will, but not the spirit.”  (From his book “The New Strong-Willed Child” copyright March 2007).  That is good advice for all, I think Jesus wants us to all have good sense, but not stubborn sense.  But sometimes its our stubbornness that helps to guide us in God’s will not of our own.  I know on many occasions I felt the Holy Spirit at that moment telling me to hold ground and not give in.  Which put some people on the alert that I am being stubborn in their eyes.  When I am passionate of what God wants of me it comes across as stubbornness.  For me it’s the censors that set off in that moment and if it’s not in God’s plans for me I have to go with the flow of the direction He wants.  It’s hard for me to express my beliefs without looking like the person in the wrong at times.  I feel I must be obedient of what 
He asks of me. 
 In 1 Peter 2 (NASB 1995) it reads:  
“According to the foreknowledge of God the Father, by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, that you may obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood: May grace and peace be yours in fullest measure.
I look at it this way. I must do what’s right for me and my family because in the end I will have to answer to Him and Him alone.  If my stubborn heart is filled with nothing but His goodness I have nothing to change.  Except for the things that we all know is not right like getting your way every time when it comes to the TV, radio station, who is going to clean the house, feed the pet or daily task, I think you get the picture.  Those are things we must come to a middle ground with our spouse, children, family, friends and co-workers.  The next time you get into a conversation and stubbornness sets in think is it God’s will or mine that I need to apply to this situation?  You will know the difference.    

Let’s Pray
Give me a working heart filled with your knowledge to help me conquer those areas that need fixing when it comes to being stubborn.  Please show those that when I am passionate for you it is not of my will but yours.  Help those around me to see the difference between the two.
In Jesus name, Amen    

Thank you for taking the time to join me today on my guest post.  May God bless your heart and day with happiness and joy blessings,  RC

An Example To Follow

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Today's post comes from Dawn at The Most Perfect Gift

 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint.” 1 Peter 4:8-9

Serving others is self-less. It’s a sacrifice, putting our needs aside to fulfill someone else’s.

I often pray and ask God to open my eyes to recognize the needs of others. How can my family bless someone today? And God is always faithful and He has opened my eyes to see and filled my heart with compassion. He has provided opportunities for us to help others around us.

What always fascinates me is how He works, how He orchestrates opportunities and how He always provides the means! My family is able to help another particular family in a way that I have secretly wished that for me, uh..I mean us. Okay, it was more like complaining during one of those self pity moments. “Why doesn't anyone see our needs?” But the shocking truth here is that I WANT to help this family and I feel no resentment. One would think my flesh is screaming, “No, I can’t!” and make up every excuse to not be available. Oh, believe me, there are times when I would rather not take on any more responsibilities. After all, I am human!. ;-) But then I am quickly reminded I am able, through Christ who strengthens me! So, why not? 

I know what it is like to have this need and here we are fulfilling that need for another family! Only by His might because there is no other way! I am in complete awe at  how God can change our hearts and He always equips us with what He has called us to do - all for His glory and honor! Amen!

Photo Credit: Laura J Lee
And God just didn't create us, throw us into this world and command us to love and help others. He provided an example for us to follow. So, we have no excuses. All we need to do is to look to Jesus, study how He served others all throughout the New Testament. 

1 Peter 2:21 “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, …”

Jesus will show us the way, He is the shepherd and we are His flock. The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

So let's make sure we get into His Word daily. Read it, study it, believe it and practice it and we will hear His voice. John 10:27 "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me"

Let's Pray
Open our eyes, Dear Lord, so that we may see those around us that are in need. Help us to be sensitive to others and recognize ways in which we can bless others, in Your Name. Use us as a vessel where Your glory flows through us. Lead us in this dark world where Your light shines so bright others don't even see us, they only see You.
In Jesus' Name, Amen

Young girls need their mothers

Friday, June 1, 2012

Today's post comes from Glenys at Morning Cuppas With Glenys
Over many years I have noticed that a lot of mothers relinquish the authority of Mother and try to be a girl friend to their daughters. When the child is young often she is not disciplined correctly for fear that the child won’t love her any more. There is a laissez-faire attitude that is over lenient with the children, resulting in them being spoiled and over indulged.

In an effort to be close to their daughters, some mothers act foolishly, behaving like silly school girls. Not only do they simper and carry on like youngsters, but they often divulge too much personal information about their marriage or share off jokes with them in an effort to be cool or hip.

Another mistake I see is that these insecure mothers often treat their growing daughters as being much older than they are, allowing them to listen in on adult conversations and making them a part of adult functions and occasions.

When boys come onto the scene, it is not uncommon for this mother to almost push her into a relationship too early, or to sexualise their daughters at a ridiculously young age. It is not unheard of to have mothers applying makeup to 8 year olds and dressing them up way beyond their years in a provocative manner.

This can be seen in a Christian home as much as any other, especially where the mother herself has issues of insecurity surrounding her mothering. When the daughters end up in trouble, the mothers wring their hands and cry that they didn’t know why it had happened.

What has happened? The daughters have gradually lost respect for their mothers and have decided to go their own way…Mother is seen as being shallow and secretly these girls are growing to despise them. What these girls need is a mother who will act her age and act wisely. They need a mother they can relate to on an adult level: what they don’t need is what a lot of mothers try to be: a girlfriend!

Children need their mothers. They need an adult head and hand to guide them through the turbulence of adolescence. At the end of the day, they want a mother they can respect and who won’t show them up as an immature air head.

The mother who brings her personal problems to her young daughter not only weighs her down with unbearable problems, but with knowledge she is not yet ready to take on her young shoulders! The wise mother will seek out her husband, mature Christian women or counselors to discuss personal issues with. She will at all times be a mother.

The last thing a young girl needs is a mother who wants to be a girlfriend during her growing years. There will be time after adolescence for being a close girl friend: but be a mother first!
Blessings, Glenys

”My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart [shall be] of understanding. ” Psalm 49:3